Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Leeward Side

**This is post-dated. I wrote it the other night in Hawaii, but didn't have connectivity.

Look at how pretty. This is my brother and my sweet Sarah, getting married on the beach in Maui. It was pouring down rain.

I was in Hawaii in 1984 and 2006 and now 2009. There was this song. And it was something like “....from the mountains to the ocean, from Maui and to the leeward side”. I am hearing it again tonight, as I sit at the hotel listening to a band at the Tapa bar. It brought back all of these reminiscences.

This is the first time my cell phone has worked since January 19, the day I sailed across the Atlantic with the sunset behind me. I am tempted to call my mom, Dara, my sister-in-law, Brian, someone…..but it’s 4 AM on Monday morning, April 20. (Oops- Brian, I already pressed “send” before I realized….sorry about that.)

So now I sit and I listen and I think.

…….I am pretty happy with my chosen direction in life: my career, my travels, my education, my spirituality, my family, and my friends. I rarely fret over, nor discuss this too much these days, but here goes anyhow- is love an esoteric ideal beyond my grasp?

What is it called when you make significant eye contact with someone and exchange a meaningful glance and perhaps smile, but then keep walking? As if you never exchanged that glance, nor had a moment’s connection whatsoever? Does one call that a missed opportunity?

Shoot, I still find it astonishing when two friends meet up in foreign ports of call. Even with planning and with itineraries. I traveled across the world and I saw Nupur in India. I saw Dara in Bangkok. I saw Motoko in Japan. I saw my family in the Bahamas. How did we travel so many miles- me by ship, and they by plane and still find one another?

Yet- the stranger whose glance has captured my eye continues to walk on. I’ve captured his glance and I continue to walk in a different direction.

Are there no missed opportunities? Is it scripted for us?

Did you ever read “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho? I refer to it often. It is about a shepherd, in search of his true treasure. He herds sheep for a living. He leaves that line of business to take this journey. He starts in Spain and traverses deserts, mountains and other obstacles. There are thieves and swindlers at his every turn. He searches for miles and miles. At the end of his long journey searching for this elusive treasure, he realizes that his treasure is right back in the Andalucian region of Spain right where he started. {Right where my own first port of call was, after traversing the Atlantic.} Right where the young shepherd left his sheep.

Is whatever the heck it is that I’m looking for right back in my beloved New York? Has it already been crafted for me there? Joe and Jackie thought I would find love on my voyage and never come back home again.

I don’t know. I am sitting in paradise, listening to this music play. I’m nostalgic. I’ve been in this place before. I’ve heard this song before. The song remains the same. I’m watching people in their bright island shirts and leis around their necks. I’m smelling sweet plumeria and hibiscus in the air. Yes….I’ve been here once before. I’m tasting macadamia nuts and papaya. I’m waxing poetic.

Maybe love and I gravitate towards each other, after all……

In the meantime, I suppose we’re just two ships passing in the night…...

PS- I know. I hate these serious ones. I’ll shoot for something more light and humorous next time.
PPS- You don’t have to answer all the rhetoric in this blog. But if you wanna take a stab, feel free to shoot me an email or leave a comment. I’m always up for the guidance of my friends and experts on this subject.
PPPS- The photo on the balcony was taken last time I was in Hawaii. My hair did not grow that long again overnight.

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